A different kind of breakup.

The Spotify Ad Blocker didn’t work one time and it reminded me of the handing my ex his credit card, supplementary mine.

He signed up for Spotify Premium and I found out via the credit card bill.

Give a man your hand at no cost and he will just keep grabbing for more. I was an exquisite antique at a thrift shop and I was valued really neat. An earthquake dropped me to a box labeled free stuff and he found me there – dusty and dirty.

I thought he saw my value even though it was covered with dirt. But no, he took me for free.

I tried showing him what I wanted to receive so I showed him exactly that. I took him away from his mother and replaced her. I allowed him to milk me until I was sucked dry.

Now this is not something I am proud of. This is a really really toxic trait. Emasculating a man means castrating him off his masculine part, depriving him of his male identity. If a woman keeps on providing for the man, you are stripping away his ability to grow his potential to provide.

Nurturing the family should’ve been the number one priority of a woman, not providing. Providing is a man’s job – the hunters of the forest.

Nevertheless, I never stopped providing, because I never felt safe doing so. I cannot make this man responsible for mine. So I continued, until I broke. Everything else crumbled. I lost this and that and all of that.

It was painful, and I’m glad I went through it to realize my worth.  There's a lot of realizations when everything has been stripped off you. If you feel like your life compares to Atlas carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders then you're probably carrying a lot of baggage that if you take time to go through them, they're really unnecessary. It may be scary at first because you’re definitely gonna cry a river when you realize how wounded you are and how much you need the attention.

So give it to yourself. Allow yourself to break. Allow yourself and your needs to be known. The right ones will hear it. And if they haven’t shown up infront of my gate yet, they're probably still healing an essential part of themselves.